Dear Dr. V,
My boyfriend and I have been together for eight months. He makes me laugh, smile and feel young and sexy. I haven’t felt this alive in 20 years and our sex life is fantastic! He’s 39 and I’m 53.
He tells me over and over how much he loves me and wants to be with me. But I think about our age difference; he gets upset when I mention it.
Plus, he’s very fit and I’m
- Janelle J.
Dear Janelle,
I certainly understand why you question your situation. But maybe your doubts aren’t because of external factors – age and physical appearance – but your internal processes.
It sounds like you don’t think you deserve this man, or that you don’t deserve to be happy. And, of course, the opposite is true.
Though he’s younger than you, someone who’s nearly 40 probably will have a more refined emotional maturity than someone 15 or even 10 years younger. This man is well into adulthood and has learned through previous relationships what he does and does not want.
You may also be subconsciously protecting yourself from potential hurt by dwelling on these doubts. Fear of rejection stems from our cave-person instinct for self-preservation. You may be thinking: If my mate rejects me, I’ll have no home, no food and I will die alone in the wilderness.
But it sounds like you have a loving, devoted partner. It may feel risky, even frightening, to open yourself to this relationship, but ultimately you owe it to yourself: Take this chance at realizing your full potential of love and happiness.
resource: Lifescripts Dr. V
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